Life with Bees

For a really good Big Green Egg brisket, get a proper butcher to cut you the meat so you get the full size. We got ours from Barry Hawkes at Fyshwick Markets - it was nearly 3kg for about $17. Rub it down the day before your barbeque with a simple dry rub of salt, paprika, pepper, brown sugar and spices. Opinion is generally divided on the use of brown sugar - some say it offers a perfect, caramelised glaze while others say it does nothing. We hedged our bets and used very little. Also be sparing with the salt, which draws moisture out of the meat. Seal the brisket up in your biggest freezer bag and leave in the fridge overnight.

The next day, soak a few planks of mesquite wood in water for about an hour before you begin cooking. Take the meat out of the fridge - it will be moist because of the salt. Get the Big Green Egg going, keeping the coals between 200-250 C. TK put the brisket on the top tier of the Egg grill plate for indirect heat. He put a ceramic plate on the bottom tier of the plate with a pan to catch brisket drippings. On the middle tier we had a rack of American ribs which were cooking for lunch.



Cooking time is usually estimated at anywhere between 1 and 1.5 hours for each pound (450g) of meat. But it can vary. We put the brisket in the grill at about 10am, using that formula, and expecting it to cook for about 6 to 7 hours, just in time for dinner. But the meat surprised us - when TK took the ribs off the grill for lunch, he found the brisket sitting ready to be served. It had reached 87 C, the optimum cooking temperature.

So check regularly.

If your brisket is done too early, wrap it in a couple of layers of aluminium foil and place it back in the Egg. Shut off both air vents - this kills the fire slowly, allowing the meat to stay warm as long as possible.

Or keep the brisket warm in the oven while making some barbequed side dishes. Arrange handfuls of potato wedges across the top tier of the grill plate - they become crisp and smoky without any need for fat. Cook corn in their sheaths alongside the wedges.

The brisket made a beautiful early dinner with corn on the cob, crisp wedges and a pile of Turkish rolls. TK deglazed the drippings pan with a shot of Scotch and added the juice to a homemade hot barbeque sauce. The slices of meat were completely tender, melting down your throat with a warm, slightly smoky-sweet flavour. The brisket fed four hungry people with plenty of slices for TK to wrap in fresh rolls for lunches the rest of the week.

The beginning of November was the beginning of the end for cooking as we knew it. That was when TK got his newest, dearest companion - the Big Green Egg. The Egg is a ceramic barbeque, it is a smoker, an oven and a grill. Filled with coal and a scattering of smoking planks, it produces temperatures of up to 400 C and can reduce the grainiest, cheapest cut of meat into a tender melting meal.

Our friend Doc helped us assemble it over the weekend and we spent an afternoon playing cards and cooking the first Egg meal. It gave us an ochre tandoori chicken heavily striped with smoky black scorchmarks. The chicken was spicy and full of warmth, a little dry and crisp. It wasn't perfect, but the meat had a remarkable earthy, appetising flavour and for TK it was love. Afterward we huddled around the Egg on our tiny balcony roasting raspberry marshmallows on the dying embers in the bowl, laughing if we got them to catch fire and blowing fine smoky ash off the caramelised ooze.

It was love.

We recently went on a holiday down the NSW coast and stopped to check out the pretty seaside town of Merimbula in the far south. The town is lovely, with a marina and a big sandbar providing a surf beach on one side and a pelican haunt on the other. Whales cruise past the town on their way to Antarctica and the fishing is apparently quite good.

For lunch we tried out the Cantinas tapas bar and restaurant on the main strip. The food sounded interesting but nothing was Spanish. There was no paella, no tortilla (Spanish omelette), and only a whiff of chorizo on the menu. The mains included a fettucini with chicken and rib-eye steaks. But after a morning spent out on the bay, we were hungry so we had the speciality "tapas plate for two" ($60) which promised to give us a good spread of dishes.

The plate, when it came, was piled high with little savoury dishes and a heap of Greek salad. A generous helping of salt and pepper calamari was a highlight - they were cleanly seasoned and seemed fairly fresh. TK thoroughly enjoyed two Greek lamb skewers with yogurt dip and I favoured the corn and coriander fritters which were well herbed and juicy. The salad was reasonable - sliced cucumber, capsicum, a few cubes of fetta and olives - and the plate left us quite full.

But not everything was good. A fetta and potato spring roll was just that - a dim sum masquerading as tapas. A pair of spanakopita were extremely ordinary and ended up left on the plate. And there was a curious, curious serve of indistinguishable curry and rice, so thoroughly overcooked that the ingredients were falling to pieces and absolutely smacking of leftovers that the chef wanted to be rid of.

The service was cheerful and prompt, though one waitress had to ask the boss what was actually in the tapas for two. We were able to sit in the open window and watch tourists drift past on the main street. There was plenty on the drinks menu and it didn't seem to matter if you wanted a meal or just a glass of riesling on the comfortable couches to people-watch with.

It was a nice holiday meal - but it was only holiday good humour and hunger that left us satisfied. For $60, you should expect more. Not necessarily more food but more style and thought from the chef. Perhaps even a little proper Spanish cooking. And you certainly shouldn't expect to be palmed off with leftovers from last night's dinner menu.

Cantinas Tapas Bar and Restaurant, Merimbula NSW
Rating: 2/5
Value for Money: 1/5
Service: 3/5

When your hair is waist length, you start to notice if a shampoo or conditioner works. And you really notice if it doesn't - try combing four feet of prickly dry strands, or struggling to find a scarf big enough to hide it all on a bad day (a tight bun helps or alternatively adopt purdah). Thus begins the never-ending quest to find the perfect product for extremely long hair.

In this case, the quest is complicated by the fact that I'm trying to use shampoo and conditioners without dodgy chemicals. There are hundreds of organic or natural beauty products on the market - sadly, many of them simply don't work. For the last year I've been treading the fine line between icky synthetic goo that makes my hair beautiful and pure organic crap that leaves it ugly. Here are some of the things I've tried.

Aesop advertises itself as a beauty company with high organic standards - and a price tag to match. The Gentle Scalp Cleansing Shampoo (pictured - $40) is quite a good shampoo, very mild and seems to be effective even on dandruff-prone scalps. It doesn't froth up orgiastically in an effort to show how well it's working. Instead it's more like a gel cleanser, it stays matte to the scalp and a little goes a long way. I might get it as my main shampoo if I'm feeling rich. The Revitalising Hair Sealing Conditioner ($42 from www.aesop.net.au) was very disappointing. It left my hair nearly crackling with dryness and seemed to help create tangles. Very poor form and definitely not a good option for long hair. It was meant to be used in conjunction with the Rose Hair and Scalp Moisturing Masque ($100 - yes, $100) - described as a weekly botanical treat for hair. You apply the masque to freshly washed hair, wrap in a shower cap or clingfilm and leave on for half an hour before rinsing out. Sadly, it did nothing for my hair. I got the masque as a free sample with a purchase so wasn't out of pocket, but if I can save just one long-haired lady $100 - then all the pain has been worth it. :-|

Kiehl's Olive Fruit Oil Nourishing Conditioner (about $40 from Mecca Cosmetica). A rich conditioner that really softened my hair. More importantly, it didn't wear off and kept hair soft for days. Ends were still a little dry but I've never found anything that cured dry ends. Left a good gloss on the hair and helped detangle. I got compliments for how shiny the hair looked. A favourite. It's not chemical free and doesn't use organic ingredients but there are no parabens or SLS and none of the more obviously questionable ingredients. A good compromise between the two.

The flu - it gives you a special appetite. You want nurturing, slightly lambent soft food. In my case, I ate red- and orange-flavoured jelly cups like thirsty man at an oasis, in wobbling gulps. I even enjoyed wielding the little plastic spoon that came embedded in the jelly.

TK generously made me a whole fridge shelf full of raspberry Aeroplane jelly, somewhat incongruously set in fancy-pants Le Creuset crockery. As the flu appetite departed, the jelly became less a soothing panacea to my ills and more a boring batch of wobbly red.

Enter Maggie Beer. A scoopful of her burnt fig, caramel and honeycomb ice cream tipped onto the smooth face of the red jelly and you have a luscious, wobbly faux trifle. The ribbons of figgy caramel running through the ice cream are offset by the unpretentious tartness of the Aeroplane raspberry. Let the ice cream melt a little and it clings sweetly to the blobs of light jelly.

The Maggie Aeroplane Trifle is bizarre but it works for me. More bizarre is the fact that TK's favourite Aeroplane flavour is quandong - but they don't make it anymore! If you know where to find some, he is very keen.

We saw this on Nigella Feasts or Nigella Summer (or perhaps Nigella Eats, Shoots and Leaves). The cake is very dark but the sticky honey gives it a strong, earthy sweetness. I'd cut down on the honey next time. The bees are made from yellow-coloured marzipan with almond flakes for wings. The stripes are drawn on with the point of a skewer dipped in the chocolate glaze. TK even gave them little almond stingers in their tiny marzipan butts. It just looked far too cute to eat - but we managed, somehow.

I can't quite be bothered altering Nigella's recipe for the joy of being able to post it here. Besides, credit where credit's due.

http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/nigella-lawson/honey-bee-cake-recipe/index.html

The origin of this Saturday's dinner came earlier this week when TK wandered down to his local Subway for a chipotle cheese steak wrap. As he walked away satisfied, in a haze of spiciness, he realised how much he loved the smoky blends of chipotle. He vowed to incorporate it into this week's dinner menu. And since he felt like having burgers tonight, he came up with this delicious concoction.

The star of this little burger is the hot sauce, which starts with jalapeno chillies - which give the distinctive flavour. Seed them and gently cook in a little oil. Add two ground chipotles (which are just dried smoked jalapenos). Deglaze with some apple cider vinegar and add a splash of water while it cooks for about 10 minutes. Turn off the heat and let it poach and thicken slightly on its own. Throw it into the blender and blitz with a bit more water until it forms a good sauce. Cook it a bit longer in the pan and sprinkle on some salt to bring out the flavour of the chillies rather than just pure heat.

TK stirs this into a home-made mayonnaise to give a thick, spicy chipotle sauce with a beautiful pure Dutch orange colour and a smokescreen of heat.

The rest of the burger comes together easily enough. Crumb some chicken thigh fillets before pan-frying in butter - they almost make tender miniature schnitzels. Add some juicy pieces of cos lettuce, some Spanish onion rings and a slice of dark-orange vintage Cheddar. Slather with chipotle hot sauce and ensconce the lot in a fresh kaiser roll.

Endota Spa is offering all its 2-hour treatments at half price for the month of June, a discount that makes the beauty spa affordable even on my tiny salary. So two girlfriends and I booked in at our local spa immediately.

We all got the same 2.5 hour treatment, the Endota Layabout, which involves a "billabong footsoak'', a full body scrub and clay body wrap, followed by a massage and an organic facial.

When we arrived we were seated in a little reception area with bright green ottomans and a water feature. We filled out the usual questionnaires asking about allergies, health problems and skin concerns. It also asked what sort of pressure we liked in our massage and whether we wanted our therapist to chat during the treatment - a thoughtful touch.

Afterwards we were introduced to our therapists and led into separate treatment rooms. Mine was cosy, decorated in chocolate and eucalypt green colours. There was a big, immaculate vanity table along one side of the room with the therapist's kit. A large, discreet frosted glass shower was in one corner, and a big rattan chair in the other.

Billabong Footsoak: In front of the chair my therapist had laid out a fluffy towel and a large silver bowl full of warm water. I placed my feet into the warm liquid and she began to stroke my feet and legs with a mimosa and ginseng body polish. There were smooth river pebbles in the bottom of the bowl, which massaged and soothed the soles of my feet as I rubbed against them. The therapist gave me a full foot and lower leg scrub and then rinsed the polish off my legs and massaged some body balm into them.

Clay Body Wrap: After I moved to the treatment table, she draped me in a towel and worked on me section by section, using the mimosa body polish again. The scrub was fine-grained and had a lovely mild floral smell, not too sweet or overpowering. The therapist worked it methodically over my legs, back, arms and hands - it was almost like having a massage in itself. As she finished with each body part, she wiped the polish off with a warm, damp towel. Then she applied the body wrap, smoothing it onto my skin in a hot trickle of clay. When my back half was done, I turned over and she worked on my front with the polish and the clay. This time she only scrubbed and wrapped my arms, legs and decolletage, leaving my stomach and chest untouched - which was a bit odd. I could understand not covering my chest in clay but surely we could have worked around it and done my stomach?

When I was completely ensconced in clay, she pulled some warm sheets over me and gave me a soothing scalp massage while the body wrap soaked in. The scalp massage was blissful and relaxing, and was much better than being left alone to stew in the dark, covered in clay and blankets. Then it was off to the shower to wash off the pale clay wrap. In another nice touch, the therapist covered the steps leading to the shower cubicle with a fluffy towel. I spent a bit longer in the shower than I anticipated - the clay was a bit tricky to wash off completely and the warm shower was very relaxing. The wrap left my skin slightly oiled and a bit tacky to the touch, but not greasy.

Massage and Organic Facial: After my shower the therapist started on a half-hour body massage with the endota olive and macadamia oil. I had asked for firm pressure in my massage and she did not disappoint, using a fairly heavy hand to knead the tension out of my shoulders, arms and legs. Impressively, she had the knack of smoothing more oil onto my body without breaking her massage strokes.

When I was well oiled and relaxed, I turned over and she covered me in more towels before starting a one-hour facial. This began with a cleanse - she pressed two pads of eye makeup remover onto my eyelids (I wasn't wearing any makeup), and then smoothed my face liberally in a fig and sugar cleanser which felt soapy and slick. She pressed this off with a warm towel and started to rub my face with an intense menthol exfoliant from Thalgo. The scrub was brilliantly cool, leaving my face with an almost glowing warmth. In between each facial treatment she sprayed the air above my face with a wild orange spritzer which tickled down onto my face in a mist of sweet smelling citrus.

Then it was time for a face mask. With strong, smooth strokes she applied a thick Thalgo face mask and pressed a warm towel over my eyes to help me relax and soak it all in. She wrapped me up securely in some blankets and then set about with - yes - another scalp massage followed by a decolletage and shoulder rub. It was that good a treatment. Unfortunately when the time came to remove the face mask, with a compress of hot towels, my therapist's firm pressure proved my undoing - I felt nearly strangled under her hands as she pushed down on my face. She cleaned the mask neatly off my cheeks and set about applying Thalgo radiance moisturiser, again with a slightly heavy hand.

It felt: very relaxing, completely soothing and very indulgent. My skin felt very smooth afterwards and smelt of a heady mix of eucalypts, flowers and clay. We drifted out in a daze of pleasure and went home to continue relaxing.

The best bits: The comprehensive nature of the treatment. The therapist rarely left me alone in the room, spending any downtime giving me scalp massages or hand massages while we waited for the wrap or the mask to take effect. She had a very good firm pressure in her massage, and tried to take my needs into account.

The worst bits: The therapist's heavy hand was a bit disappointing in the facial - I do like a firm hand to ease the tension in my shoulders, but my face is a little less sturdy than the rest of my body. The music stopped halfway through the treatment and she didn't put it back on - not in itself a worry, but it did mean I could hear a delivery man rapping on the front counter outside for someone to come and sign a sheet. And surely there could have been some way to clay wrap my unloved stomach...?

But all in all, it was two and a half hours of blissful indulgence for $110 all up. Incredibly cheap, and a delicious treatment which showcased some of Endota's organic products.

Eurovision season rolls round and with it endless bad jokes and irony. We've watched it for the last four or five years - TK loves it, not in a post-ironic or even sarcastic way. He just finds the whole business hilarious fun. This year we got the usual crop of leggy blondes, men in leather pants, bizarre Euro-lyrics and generous helpings of tandoori skin. Here were some of your favourites - none of them won, of course:

Azerbaijan: gothic extravaganza with men in drag and women in underwear. What's not to love?

Switzerland: a button-cute Italian and an inanely catchy ballad. Just too Eurovision and sadly never destined for success.

Ukraine: a sexpot in a tasselled minidress belting out a very bad, high octane pop song. Fabulous legs, a burnished fake tan and some heaving cleavage.

Estonia: three fat and cheerful middleaged men, one of them an Estonian MP. I didn't see them but apparently they rocked.

Latvia: they came as pirates!!!

I am sucked deeper into the Lord of the Rings Online.

So far playing a massive multiplayer online role playing game has been really quite enjoyable. It's fun to dress Pergs in spiffy elf costumes, and it's rather addictive to go off hunting orcs and mining for gold and barrow-iron.

Some of Perg's highlights:

• Putting together a manly battle costume: a red-and-white striped corset top and bright yellow pants.
  
• He once died by accidentally falling off a beautiful sweeping staircase in the elf city of Celondim. Ran right off the edge. No OH&S in these epic locations.
• Successfully questing through the Barrow-Downs, fighting barrow-wights and evil shades with a group of other random players.
• Constantly getting lost in Bree, in spite of it being his home town.
• Making money through his industrious mining.
• Cooking up a storm making hobbit breakfasts and - his favourite food - stuffed cabbages.

Perhaps more importantly I now understand why boys like to spend hours online playing these games. It is strangely fun to collect dwarf-iron nuggets, or kill orcs and goblins. The game is easy for a newbie like me to play, with a steady stream of rewards to satisfy the most impatient player. And some of the people who play are good company.

Playing with Pergs has given me much more patience for TK's gaming habit, and a greater appreciation of the problem-solving skills involved.

Except now he has to share LotRO time with me and my little elf....

Tired of being a videogames widow, I join the ranks of nerds pretending to be hobbits online.

In an effort to discover the appeal of the huge online games such as World of Warcraft and Lord of the Rings, which send TK and his friends off on quests and raids for hours upon hours, I decided to take things into my own hands and enter the world of online gaming. TK's current addiction is Lord of the Rings Online, a multi-player online game which allows you to play at being a character in Middle Earth. With a glint in his eye, he was only too glad to help me set up a character using his account.

You can pick any of the main races in the Lord of the Rings for your character - elves, dwarves, men or hobbits. I chose to be a vain, good-looking elf with flowing hair, a sunset tan and a huge white grin. We even gave him a buff, poncy name - Pergolas. And so Pergolas and I popped up in the elven cities of Middle Earth, slightly scared, eager to learn and with a penchant for running inadvertantly into trees.